All that glitters is a big steaming pile of shit!

I for one am happy that a lot of strip clubs don't allow their girls to wear glitter lotion anymore! Not because I'm afraid that it will get on me and I'll get in trouble when I get home... I have never once snuck out to a strip club hoping that my wife wouldn't find out. Anyone who does that has more problems than glitter lotion, but that's a rant for a different day.

I'm happy about it because I feel that ALL glitter should be banned from every media in the entire world. Somehow, glitter is the EASIEST thing in the world to transfer from one thing to another and almost IMPOSSIBLE to get off of you at the same time!!! It does nothing but make you uncomfortable and, I'm gonna catch shit for this one, it makes NOTHING look better.... EVER! And god forbid you brush up against someone wearing a glitter encrusted shirt or skirt. Not only will you have glitter on you for the next two months but that shit turns every piece of fabric it touches into 60 grit sandpaper and the wound you get from it may scar you for life!

So lets recap...

Glitter gets perverts in trouble, it spreads easier than herpes, it makes you itchy, it's fucking UGLY and it could scrape the shine off of metal... yep, time to start a petition.